Key insights
- The author jokingly suggests buying Iranian Rial as a hedge against toilet paper inflation, arguing that its extreme undervaluation makes it a 'functional consumer good'. While humorous, the post highlights the risks of investing in hyperinflationary currencies and the potential for further devaluation. The US market impact is negligible, serving only as a satirical commentary on inflation and investment strategies.
1 million rials costs $1.10
Your toilet paper equivalent cost drops to:
~$2.20 per roll
And if hyperinflation continues?
1 million rials could cost $0.50
Now you're effectively buying toilet paper at:
$1 per roll or less.
You’ve essentially created a reverse inflation hedge where your bathroom supplies get cheaper every year.
The true asymmetric payoff
This is where the real DD comes in.
Possible outcomes:
Scenario 1 – Rial keeps collapsing
Great. Your toilet paper gets cheaper.
Scenario 2 – Iran stabilizes and currency rises
Congratulations. Your bathroom supplies are now an appreciating financial asset.
Scenario 3 – global toilet paper shortage again (2020 flashbacks)
You are sitting on a diversified wipe reserve.
Storage strategy
This is the best part.
Instead of stacking Costco toilet paper towers in your garage like a lunatic, you can just store bricks of foreign currency.
If someone asks why you have stacks of Iranian money you can calmly say:
“I’m diversified into emerging market hygiene commodities.”
Instant credibility.
Thesis:
Traditional investors think about:
- inflation hedges - commodities - currencies
But true intellectuals understand the Bathroom Arbitrage Strategy (BAS).
Buy currencies that are so worthless they become functional consumer goods.
Iranian Rial is just the first mover.
I’m currently researching Venezuelan Bolívar for potential diversification.
Positions: Long hygiene. Considering opening a leveraged wipe fund.